Free grief tool
A plan for the hard days
Grief doesn't spread itself evenly. It gathers around dates — the anniversary, their birthday, the holidays, the song in the supermarket — and arrives in waves. The waves themselves can't be scheduled, but you can meet them prepared. People who make a simple plan for the hard days consistently report the same thing: the day is still hard, and it is also more survivable.
Completely private: everything happens on this page, in your browser. Nothing you type is sent or stored anywhere.
How the wave shows up in my body
Knowing your early signals means the wave surprises you a little less.
Small and concrete beats noble and vague: tea, the blanket, their playlist, the long exhale, stepping outside.
People I can reach
What I'm allowed to do that day
Grief days come with imagined obligations. Choose your permissions.
Your card
Save it to your phone — the image is sized to work as a lock screen. Many people also send it to the person named on it ("this is my plan, you're in it"), which quietly recruits your support before the day arrives.
Why plan for grief?
Anticipatory dread is often worse than the day itself — the mind rehearses the wave without any picture of surviving it. A plan gives the picture. It also does something subtler: it treats the wave as expectable weather rather than a malfunction. You're not failing at grief when the anniversary flattens you; you're having the anniversary. With a card in your pocket, the question shifts from "what if I fall apart?" to "I know what I'll reach for."
This exercise is for reflection; it is not a substitute for professional care. If the hard days are most days, or the waves feel unsurvivable, please reach out — in the U.S., call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), around the clock.
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